change your thoughts and you change your world

hiatus - my apologies.
i found myself so incredibly busy that i didn't even have a chance to post.
been thinking a lot about changing my thoughts.  you can't turn your feelings on and off, but you can definitely change the way you think about something, and i think it is about time i do that.

so starting a little while ago - that is my plan.  i am going to emotionally open up, since, apparently, that is what i have been lacking.  and i agree.  there was a part of me that was not allowing other people in. i was choosing people that would allow me to not be entirely involved at all, and i could get out when i wanted at any time. no real commitment.  no real dependency. 

and now i get why.  i'm just waiting for "Dexter".
maybe it is time to change my thoughts.

the ex-boyfriend couch

it is not the couch that is the problem, really.  it is what the couch represents.  it is hard to explain to people why i hate this couch so much.  they try to tell me who cares if "he" bought it with you, he is long gone and now it is your couch.  but that is just it, he DID buy it with me.  don't you get it?  this is not just a couch...it is the first thing i see when i walk in the door of my house, it is what i sit on to write this blog even, or watch a movie, or make out with a boy on (which happens on rare occasion).  he chose this couch.  i didn't even want it.  i am not a fan of leather couches.  and i thought that the reclining seats were not useful.  and it cost so much money.  but he wanted it, and what he wanted he got.  for 8 years what he wanted he got.  and if he didn't he sulked, or caused a fight, or turned it around as if i don't let him do or get anything.  he always made me feel like i was this horrible person that was depriving him of something when i disagreed with him. so to me this couch isn't just a couch, it represents 8 years.  and i think it's time i sold it.